


(When your heart needs to break) Just break on me

by nessnessquik



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: But it needs to happen, But you know its ME so yeah, F/M, Phil comforting Melinda is all i want in the world, SHOW THEM BEING BFFS AOS COME ON, This is more BFF philinda than romantic, This is probably the most angsty thing I've written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessnessquik/pseuds/nessnessquik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Break on me<br/>Shatter like glass<br/>Come apart in my hands<br/>Take as long as it takes, girl<br/>Break on me<br/>Put your head on my chest<br/>Let me help you forget<br/>When your heart needs to break<br/>Just break on me.”</p><p>Set between 3x20 and 3x21/22. Because if we don’t get a scene like this on screen, I’m just going to accept this as canon off screen anyway.</p><p>Lyrics/title from Keith Urban’s “Break on Me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	(When your heart needs to break) Just break on me

* * *

His hand hovered over her door, poised to knock, hesitating.

What if she pushed him out like she had after Bahrain? Last time he’d asked her how she was, she flat out refused to answer him.

What if she left again?

 _I can’t do this without her._ Phil shut his eyes briefly at the thought, arm still raised. He hoped no one would pass through the quiet hallway and see their Director wrestling with himself.

He’d just gotten breathing room away from Talbot and Daisy was finally home. He was exhausted, and he knew Melinda had to be too. She may be sleeping even now.

_Yeah, right._

Maybe he should just go and check again to see if Daisy had woken up yet.

Phil lowered his hand and turned away.

_Coward._

Phil clenched his robotic fist around his cane and flexed his jaw, the memory of Melinda’s face when she’d come to check on Daisy filled his mind.

Her stoic mask had been firmly on. The blank eyes, the firmly pressed lips, the rigid posture—all of it screamed she was feeling emotion she didn’t want to be seen.

They rarely used their masks on each other. The two of them were able to see through them most of the time anyway. Phil’s heart ached when he thought of Melinda feeling she needed to hide her pain from him.

When she walked away from the room they were keeping Daisy in, after seeing that she was cleared from Hive’s control and resting, Phil could hardly hear Melinda’s retreating footsteps even as he watched her go.

Everything May did was quiet—even when she was younger. Her laughter was quiet (mostly. Phil swears she howls after particularly perfect pranks), her advice was quiet, her bravery was quiet, her love was quiet. 

Her pain was also quiet.

He couldn’t leave her to suffer in silence. Not again. Phil turned back and faced her door.

Phil knew Melinda through and through. Others thought she changed completely after the horrors of Bahrain, but she hadn’t. Not in her heart, at the core of who she was. Not where it mattered. He knew she needed to be alone for a while to process and think. Going to her at the wrong time could cause her to snap and say things she didn’t mean. Phil admitted she wasn’t the only one with that particular trait. But after that period of time, Melinda’s solitary confinement became a punishment she inflicted on herself because she believed she deserved it. She drew away because she didn’t want anyone to share her pain. Phil refused to let her continue to think that way. They needed each other, especially now.

He took a breath and knocked on her door. Melinda’s lamp clicked on almost instantly, and it took only a few seconds before she answered.

She was wearing the same clothes she’d been in when Daisy had come back hours ago, minus her boots, and her hair was slightly mussed. She hadn’t been sleeping, but she’d probably been laying down.

“Phil? What’s wrong? Is Daisy okay?” Melinda’s face showed concern. Phil felt a twinge of sadness that she didn’t even consider he would be there for _her_ well-being.

“No, no. I came to—” Someone walked passed the hallway to Melinda’s bunk and Phil shifted uncomfortably, his leg let out a protest at the movement. “Can I come in?”

Melinda’s eyes drew together in confusion, but she nodded and opened her door further before closing it behind him.

“Sit down.” Melinda gestured to the bed. “You shouldn’t be putting so much weight on that leg.”

“Are you trying to tell me I’ve gained weight?” Phil settled down on the edge of her bed obediently and watched her as she scoffed and crossed her arms in front of him.

“No, but apparently you think so, since you took it that way. And you know you wouldn’t be having those thoughts if you actually joined me for sparring sessions like I offered.”

“I guess I’ll have to soon, otherwise you’ll start cracking more fat jokes.” Phil smiled at her and felt his spirits lift along with the upturn of Melinda’s mouth. It would be so easy to ignore the real reason he came and instead strive to keep that smile on her face, slight as it was. But he couldn’t. Not after the day his partner just had.

Phil took his eyes off hers. “You were great today, you know that?” He started off, feeling more than seeing her tense up. “I don’t tell you that enough, but—”

“No.”

He looked back up at Melinda and saw her jaw set; she was trying to school her features back into a mask of indifference.

“I know what you’re going to say, Phil, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I wasn’t going to say we had to talk. We don’t have to. Or you don’t have to, anyway. I’ll probably break eventually. We could just sit here. Quiet. Ish.”

Melinda looked at him, her exasperation and weariness evident. “What do you want, Phil?” She asked.

Phil gave a slight shrug and took a breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. “I just…don’t want you to be alone.”

Melinda stared at him a long moment. She deflated slowly as the fight left her body, leaving her looking small and forlorn. She moved and sat down beside Phil on her bed before inhaling deeply.

“I’ll be fine.” She said, staring straight ahead.

“May—”

“It’s Daisy you should be worried about.”

“I am worried about her, but—”

“In a few days, we’ll act like this never happened and everything will be back to normal.”

“Are you going to keep interrupting m—”

“Until you stop asking, yes. I don’t want to talk, and I’m sure you have something better to be doing, _Director_.”

“ _Melinda_.” Phil took her hand and squeezed it. Feeling another ache in his heart as she finally looked at him. The lamplight illuminated the sheen of tears in her eyes. Her emotions were playing closer to the surface than he'd realized. “You don’t have to pretend, you know. Not with me. Please, not with me.”

Melinda blinked rapidly and took a careful breath, then looked down at their hands. “If I don’t, it’ll overwhelm me. Daisy, Andrew, Peggy, Hive, our team. The safety of the world. If I let myself think about it all, I’ll lose control.” Her voice faded into a whisper as she spoke, containing an almost undetectable tremble. _I’ll break_.

“Then go ahead and lose control. I’m right here for you.” _You can break on me. I’ll hold you together._

“I can’t, Phil.” Her grip became tighter. Phil dropped his cane on the floor and put his other hand on top of their joint ones.

“Melinda, you’ve sacrificed over and over. For the world, for this team, for me. You’ve experienced so many losses and you’ve kept going.”

“We both have had to.”

“And you’ve been there for me every step of the way. Please, let me do this for you. Let me help.” Phil touched her cheek gently with his thumb, his real thumb, warm and reassuring. “At least for this once, Melinda, just let go.”

Melinda squeezed his hand so hard, Phil was grateful it was his prosthetic. He felt chest pains that had nothing to do with his old injuries as the tears started rolling one-by-one down her cheeks. He wiped a few with his thumb before Melinda choked out a sob and buried her face in his neck, gripping the front of his shirt with all her might.

Phil put his arms around her and held her close, resting his cheek on her head and stroking her hair as she shuddered and soaked his shirt with her tears.

“I know, I know.” He murmured softly.

Her tears were quiet, but at least she didn’t have to spill them alone.

The world would need them again tomorrow. But for right now, all they needed was each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Did that make you at least a little emotional? I love these best friends so much.  
> Maybe leave a short comment if you liked it? I love reading what y'all have to say! Thanks for reading!


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